Sometimes we all need a bit of extra help to work through life’s problems. It’s not unusual to go through a particularly difficult time, such as when you’re experiencing relationship difficulties or work stress or you’re feeling anxious for reasons you can’t explain. Psychotherapy — sometimes called talk therapy — may be the answer that brings you peace of mind.

When a Therapist May Help
If you are feeling unable to cope with a problem and it is affecting your relationships with others or your enjoyment of life, therapy can help. Consider counseling if you:

• Feel extremely anxious, worried, angry or stressed
• Have problems with your children, teenagers or spouse
• Can’t shake sad or hopeless feelings
• Have had a stressful change or loss in your life, such as a divorce or unemployment
• Want to stop an unhealthy behavior, such as smoking, overeating, gambling, or using alcohol or drugs

“We can say with absolute confidence that therapy is effective,” says Douglas Sprenkle, Ph.D., director of the Doctoral Program of Marriage and Family Therapy at Purdue University. “In fact, therapy is often more helpful than taking medications alone. It requires you to be an active participant, rather than just taking a pill.”

Choosing a Therapist
If you are thinking about seeing a therapist, you may be wondering which type to see. There are many options, including psychologists, social workers, psychiatrists, marriage and family therapists, or some other health professional. Professional experience is important, but in the end, let your comfort level with the therapist guide your decision. Feeling free to talk openly — and feeling that your therapist respects and understands your feelings — is crucial for the therapy to be helpful. Here’s how to narrow your search:

• Ask your doctor, friends or family members for the name of a therapist they recommend and trust.
• Consider what kind of therapist you’d like. Would you prefer a man or woman, somebody in a certain age group, or someone with a particular religious or cultural background? Answering these questions can help shorten your list of potential counselors.
• Call and talk briefly by phone with several therapists. Ask if they have experience dealing with concerns that are similar to yours. Also, be sure to ask about their office hours, length of sessions, fees and insurance coverage.

Once you have spoken with a few therapists, choose the one who feels like the best match. “You may want to use your first visit to see if the therapist is someone you feel comfortable and safe working with,” says Dr. Sprenkle.

What Happens in Therapy
At your first appointment, explain the problems that prompted you to seek therapy. The counselor may ask you questions about yourself to better understand your situation. Together, you can discuss goals for your therapy and how you can expect to meet those goals. “It’s important to view the relationship with the therapist as a partnership,” says Dr. Sprenkle. “This partnership should be marked by trust, caring and hope.”

Through talking and listening, the therapist will help you work toward making positive changes in your life. You may learn new skills, such as how to express your feelings, manage your anger or approach problems in a new way. Engaging in the process will help you get the most from therapy.

How Therapy Helps
“Therapy helps people help themselves,” says Dr. Sprenkle. “People have the resources and power within them to change their life situation. Therapy helps them use these resources by removing the barriers. It can be very powerful.

“Many people get something in therapy that they don’t get in their ordinary life — the undivided attention of another person and the sense of hope that their life can be better.”

After several visits with the therapist, it’s wise to step back and assess how well you are meeting your goals. “Even if you are still a long way from where you would like to be, you should feel as if you are making some progress,” says Dr. Sprenkle. If you’re not, then talk with your therapist about what’s holding up the process.

Therapy isn’t always an easy course of action. It can be difficult to discuss painful experiences or thoughts. And it can take time to change unhealthy behaviors or thought patterns. If you stick with it, however, you may develop a brandnew sense of hope about the future. You’ll also have the confidence of knowing that you can make it through life’s toughest times.